Father's Day Special: Splendid Genesis

Thanks dad. I'm glad you cast this 23 years ago.

Special: Conspiracy: Is it a Conspiracy Against the Market?

So, as you may or may not be aware, Conspiracy has been out for about a week now. Since I was on vacation during its release with my friends, I got a lot of play-time in for the set. What do I think of it? Well, to put it simply:

Conspiracy is the greatest multiplayer product that WotC has created in all conceivable time

That being said, it does have some issues. First and foremost, it's going to damage the secondary market. I had some time to talk with the people over at Fusion Gaming when I was in Winnipeg and they made a very valid point: people's excitement for Conspiracy is screwing up card prices and they will tank faster than people expect. Cards like Exploration and Misdirection are seeing massive drops in price already (Exploration lost $5 over 3 days and Misdirection lost almost $8 over the same period). While that's great for players since they can buy the cards cheap, that's not so great for the sellers since they will have paid too much for cards bought early and won't be able to recoup their costs as a result of the fast price drop. They will then be forced to turn around and offer lower values for people looking to offload the results of their drafts or outright refuse to take any, which will make the people who money-draft unhappy.

The other thing it will probably do is raise the already-high prices of some other Legacy staples due to the reprinting of other staples. Cards like Exploration and Misdirection are important is certain decks (Lands and control respectively) and they used to be quite expensive. Now that they've been reprinted, people will want to get into Legacy because it's cheaper to get main cards. We saw a minor version of this when Modern Masters was printed last year, but there's a major difference: Modern Masters had a limited print run. Conspiracy will continue to be printed as long as there is a demand for it. This sort of ties into the first point I made about card prices since the supply will skyrocket but the demand won't jump as much (let's be honest, Force of WIll's price will still be a barrier for most people).

Despite all that though, I encourage everyone to go out and buy a box or participate in a Conspiracy draft. It's super fun and you'll walk away with some nice cards (and probably new enemies).

300th Post: The Community's Worst

Yay! 300th post! Not actual my 300th post about Magic cards per se, but 300th anyway. So, in honour of this momentous occasion, I'm going to look at each different type of card (land, instant, sorcery, planeswalker, enchantment, artifact, creature) and take a look at the card of each type that the community has deemed to be the worst of the worst and see if they deserve to be at the bottom.

Land: Untaidake, the Cloud Keeper

Rating: 0.881/5

Yeah, this is well deserving of a low rank, but I don't think it deserves the worst rank out of all the lands. Why? This taps for mana. Hell, it taps for something! You know what doesn't tap for anything? Seafarer's Quay and its kin. At least this thing can produce something and isn't a complete waste of your land drop. Still, Shocking yourself for restricted colourless mana is just terrible.

Pros: Produces one than one mana

Cons: Enters tapped, Shock yourself, restricted use, colourless

Rating: 0/5

Worst Land?: No

Instant: Break Open

Rating: 0.878/5

There's no question; this card is the worst Instant. First, the scope of this card is fairly limited, so it's a sideboard card at best. Second, it only targets an opponent's creatures, meaning you can't use it to benefit yourself. Finally, Morph creatures only require that they be turned face-up, meaning that if you use this on a Brine Elemental, you're suddenly missing your next untap step. I really wish that this turned an opponent's creature face-down instead. Yeah, it'd be powerful, but it'd be better than this!

Pros: Takes up an empty slot

Cons: Can only flip opponents' creatures

Rating: 0/5

Worst Instant?: Yes

Sorcery: Kamahl's Sledge

Rating: 0.865/5

I already looked at this card here. It barely deserves the worst spot, inching out Hint of Insanity.

Worst Sorcery?: Yes, barely

Planeswalker: Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded

Rating: 3.069/5

Again, I looked at this card here. I stand by my 0.5/5 rating.

Worst Planeswalker?: Yes

Enchantment: Defensive Stance

Rating: 0.895/5

As far as I'm concerned, this is not the worst enchantment in Magic. That honour should go to Great Wall since it's so limited. However, this card is still in the bottom 5. An extra point of toughness isn't going to do a hell of a lot. An extra point of toughness alongside taking away a point of power is going to do a hell of a lot less.

Pros: Gives a point of toughness

Cons: Takes away a point of power, only gives a point of toughness

Rating: 0/5

Worst Enchantment?: No

Artifact: Razor Boomerang

Rating: 0.792/5

Yeah, this review explains why this is here.

Worst Artifact?: Yes

Creature: Aven Trooper

Rating: 0.806/5

Finally, we come to the worst creature and this thing definitely deserves that title. It's too weak for its cost and the ability is also overcosted. Just bad on all points.

Pros: Flying

Cons: Everything is too expensive, requires discard

Rating: 0/5

Worst Creature?: Yes

Worst Card: Razor Boomerang (Still)

Thanks for the patronage guys! Here's to 300 more post in the future!

Magic: the Movie

So, I just heard that Fox just got the rights to a Magic movie, and I got to thinking: what type of reviewer would I be if I didn't pitch in my two cents?

To start, Simon Kinberg is supposed to be writing it, and given his writing credits, I'd give it a 50/50 shot at being adequately written. I mean, I wasn't a fan of the Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr, but other people liked it, so I'll give that a pass. However, I didn't really like his handling of established characters in X-Men: The Last Stand, so that counts against my hopes. I also have zero faith in Fox in general, so that's a knock against this too (for me at least). But, rather than go into anymore details about my lack of hope for the film (the last WotC film was Dungeons & Dragons remember), I'm going to give you my thoughts on what would be the best cast for the film. Might as well give this movie a shot, right? Now, I doubt this thing will be given oodles of money, so I'm picking from a "discount actor list" of sorts. Also, I'm about to sound really pretentious, so apologies in advance.

Urza: Jeremy Irons

In the vain hope that the classic planeswalkers will make an appearance, I really hope Jeremy Irons is on the shortlist to play Urza. I don't care what people say, I love his acting. Yes, he was corny and over-the-top in Dungeons & Dragons, but he was amazing in The Borgias and The Lion King. He brings all of the necessary class and pomp required of the greatest planeswalker of all time.

Karn: Vincent D'Onofrio

Since the more likely scenario is a newer storyline, Karn would be well-served by Vincent D'Onofrio. This man can do everything and that dedication is what a complex role like Karn would need to bring his story to the screen. His voice is great, his acting is great, everything about what Vincent brings to the screen is what a character like Karn needs.

Chandra: Paget Brewster

I really think Paget Brewster is a great actress that seems to thrive in nerdy roles (Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Dan Vs., Harvey Birdman, etc) and this would be a perfect movie role for someone like that. I've seen (and heard) a lot of her work, and I just see her pulling off a good Chandra. 

Teferi: Dwayne Johnson

Was there any other choice? For those who remember, Teferi was kind of a prankster as a child and I think that Dwayne could pull it off. He's shown his acting chops and I think that Teferi would be a good role for him. He's fun, he's playful, he's the best guy to play Teferi. Oh, and for those saying "Teferi isn't muscular!": bleh. I personally think that jumping around space and time would give you some guns.

Elspeth: Samantha Morton

I'll admit that I didn't know who this was until I started this list, but I know her work and I like it. I found a clip of Samantha in Minority Report and I instantly thought that she could make a good Elspeth. Seriously, look at that movie and tell me you couldn't see her stabbing Tom Cruise with a giant spear.

Jace: Michael Weatherly

Take a deep breath and hang on to your flame comments until after you read my reasons why I think Michael Weatherly would make a good Jace. Jace is a cocky, over-confident jackass who can't do everything he thinks he can, right? Well, that sounds a lot like his character on NCIS, doesn't it? Jace also has to break off important relationships in order to protect the other person, but still fights himself over the decision, just like Logan in Dark Angel, another one of his characters. What I'm saying is, Michael Weatherly has essentially played Jace most of his career, just in small parts. Okay, you can commence the fireworks now.

Well, that's who I think should play whom in the Magic movie. And, if they don't actually care about the movie at all, here's who I think they should pick to try and get "so-bad-it's-good" status.

Urza: Al Pacino

Karn: Vince Vaughn

Chandra: Kristen Stewart

Teferi: Bokeem Woodbine

Elspeth: Adam Sandler in a wig

Jace: Christian Slater

Special: Planechase

I figured now's as good a time as any to talk about one of the variants of Magic: Planechase. Back in 2009, WotC came out with this variant of Magic, wherein each player has a a "planar deck" that contains oversized card with varying effect on them (another set of decks came out in 2012). On a player's turn, they can roll the "planar die", a d6 with only two marked sides (the first roll is free, then it costs n-1 for each subsequent roll). The two marked sides either causes "planar travel", wherein the rolling player replaces the current plane with the top card of their planar deck or "chaos", which triggers the written ability of the plane. Now, the way my friends and I play is a little different: rather than each player having their own planar deck, we play with about 30 different planes mixed together and we find this variant a lot more fun than having individual deck.

What do I think of Planechase? I think it's pretty cool. It can create some really interesting swingy situations that completely turn tables in favour of a player that's doing really bad. Here are my top 3 and bottom 3 planes. Why? Because.

Top #3: Furnace Layer

One of the few things that New Phyrexia produced, I really like this plane. It's truly random since it can hit you too and players might be tempted to gamble and keep it around in order to hurt their opponent's but it could just as easily bite them for their hubris. You know, like an actual plane would do.

Bottom #3: Mount Keralia

Talk about a plane that you don't want to leave. While not the worst example of this (see #1), I still don't like this plane at all. Why would a plane hurt you for leaving it? I'll admit most of my dislike of this comes from my inner Vorthos coming through, but it just doesn't make much sense. A maybe boardwipe with a 16.6% chance of happening just seems terrible.

Top #2: Takenuma

This plane just seems so combo-happy that I love it. I can just see a scenario where a player loses the game when their Laboratory Maniac bounces when they roll chaos. It just really like it.

Bottom #2: Lethe Lake

Unlike the other two bottom planes, this is a plane that everyone desperately wants to get away from. Losing a sixth of your deck every turn just sucks and only having a one-in-six chance of getting away from it makes it even worse. It's like a blue player purposefully not ending the game so that he can toy with his opponent for multiple turns.

Top #1: Glimmervoid Basin

There's nothing about this plane I don't like. I love anything that can cause issues with control decks and this really does that well. Every direct damage spell becomes suicidal and every bounce spell becomes a boardwipe. It's just amazing.

Bottom #1: Sanctum of Serra

Usually when this plane comes out, we put the planar die away since no one wants to leave. There may be the situation where one player may want to try an planeswalk just so that they have a chance, but that player usually doesn't have the mana to roll the die more than thrice, so there's not much point in trying. And since when was the price of leaving Serra's house become burning everything you own?

Vanilla Value Equation (VVE)

So, if you remember waaaaay back in my Vanillas review, I brought up the idea of using a formula to determine the value of a vanilla creature. Tonight, I thought about it a little more and refined that formula a little more: 

If X is equal to 1 or more, it is a passable card for Limited formats. For example, Border Guard scores a 1, meaning that it is a baseline passable vanilla creature. Leatherback Baloth scores a little higher, at 2 and Axebane Stag scores lower with a 0.86. Cards with a 0 CMC (such as Crookshank Kobolds) don't have a value and should be considered combo pieces instead of just creatures (at least, I consider them combo pieces).

Now, when I say "passable", I don't mean "good". I came up with this to help me determine the value of vanilla cards in a draft or sealed format and that's what the formula is intended for. It is also based purely on combat ability and not on interactions with other cards. Maybe in the future I'll add values to different keywords and abilities and come up with a comprehensive algorithm for more advanced cards... 

Special: The Weird Cards I Use

Okay, since my "official" 250th post was... kind of lame, I thought I'd do a second post today on the strangest cards I use. These are the cards that make people say "why the hell are you running that?!" when I play them, but I have a legitimate reason to run each one (herein explained).

Now the reason people look at me weird for this is because I run this in my Talrand, Sky Summoner EDH. Most people say "Well, it's like running Mana Leak in EDH; everyone will have the mana to counter it". I don't see it that way. Often, some decks biggest spells require tapping out and they won't leave any mana open (save for maybe Path to Exile mana). Beacon of Tomorrows, Cruel Ultimatum, Din of the Fireherd, Time Stretch, and Twist Allegiance are just some good targets for this that can greatly shift an opponent's plans.

This is the best tutor in my Lyzolda, the Blood Witch EDH by far. Why? Lyzolda like sacrificing tokens (particularly by throwing them at people's faces) and each sacrificed token means two more counters on this card. While this can only tutor a limited number of cards from the top of my library, my deck is so redundant that the chances are that I'll hit what I need in the top 14 or so cards.

This one is fairly straightforward in my 8-Land Smash sideboard, but people are sometimes very confused by this. It's fairly simple: this goes in against Affinity decks. Why? It makes my opponent think about giving me a 5/3 for playing that Ornithopter without anything to back it up immediately. Besides, a one-mana 5/3 is pretty good right?

This is another "obvious" one, but it also confuses some people when they see it. It's a cheaper, more repeatable Acorn Harvest, especially since this is in my Seshiro the Annointed EDH. In the last game I played with this, it ended up netting me 12 snakes, which I think is pretty good for one card.

"It's just black Journey to Nowhere for one more! It's terrible!" That's what I always hear when I cast this for the first time. Why just the first time? Because I usually play this just before I activate my Oblivion Stone (or to prevent someone else from activating theirs) in my Maga, Traitor to Mortals EDH. You see, the important difference between this and Journey to Nowhere is that the exiled creature keeps its counters. That means that my 13/13 Maga will come back as a 13/13 and hurt someone badly when the Oblivion Stone goes off. 

This is another odd card from my Maga EDH. Late in the game, if I have a big Maga (let's say 20/20) but can't attack for some reason, this card comes in really handy. For 3 mana, I'll have a 21/21 and the ability to cast a slightly smaller Maga (in this case 18/18). It's a pretty awesome utility card in my deck!

Those are probably the weirdest cards I have in my decks. Feel free to post any of your oddest cards in the comments below. Here's to another 250 posts in the next year or so!

Special: The Cards I Use

People often ask me what cards I post here I actually use. Well, here's 3 of them with a description of the deck that they are in.

I run this card in my Seshiro the Anointed EDH because it's really great. The deck is obviously a heavy-aggro snake tribal deck. It's a decent size with a frosting effect and can regenerate cheaply. Also, with my general, it's a 5/4 for 4, which is really good.

This card is a superstar in my Lyzolda, the Blood Witch EDH. The deck is heavy on the tokens and heavy on the chaos. First, I swing with this card, then I fling it. Suddenly, Lyzolda is a dragon as are the rest of my tokens. It's just a great card in that deck.

This may not look like much, but in my Maga, Traitor to Mortals EDH, this card basically becomes a second general. The other day, I had played Maga for 20, almost killing my last opponent. However, he had a Reassembling Skeleton, so I could not get through to him. My next top deck was this card, so I played it, sending my general to the command zone and replaying him for 15, winning the game. Even if I didn't win right there and then, I went from having a 20/20 to having a 21/21 and a 15/15, which is really good for a mono-black deck.